Onto something!

Yes that's right, I think I am onto something these days! I think there is some sort of subject in my work without my intention! I think I am thinking about people's secret lives, who they really are beneath the skin and don't show anyone. What they know about the world, the secrets, the truths, what they know about themselves. Mmmm yes I think that might be it.

I know there is a lot of myself I just don't share with the world, granted that often leads to people around me not really understanding me. I think people often have this view that I am some fragile and sad little person, nothing could be more from the truth! I really am quite content with myself, I am generally a very happy and inspired person, much stronger than people would think. I have my views of the world and don't like to shy away from strong emotions though in the end I really am content. So I must conclude there is more to people than what we see from the outside.



My paintings just seem to be painting themselves these days which I think speaks of this underlying idea of the unavowed. This inside world just seems to fuel me. Maybe it's a way for me to explore myself through study of others. Well I should stop now and get to my easel, sitting there with my newest creation... larger than life! One has to love the empty and yet not moments of painting bliss when everything else in the world melts away and all you see is color, lines, shadows and soul discovery.

Red, red, RED!

Hello hello! I am in a great mood today, I just finished a really great painting! I did something I haven't done in a VERY long time.... play and try things! Well ok so I do that frequently but not so much in my art :-P It feels good to have just let go and tried something scary! Not to mention have it turn out! :-O




Hmmm not sure why the color isn't coming out well on the net but it's crazy red LOL! Blinding red! NOT like most of my works that are browns, blacks and soft skin tones LOL This is WILD for me LOL Hey it was good fun though! It feels good to have just tried some ideas that I've had for a while. I plan to do more like this with strong color. Of course to contrast that I also finished a painting of the same girl in an old barn LOL that is more neutral tones and spooky. Hey it's just fun to play, what is an artist who doesn't keep searching themselves!

So Ian and I finished re-arranging the apartment so I could have a better space to work. Wow what amazing light in my new work space! Two big windows! Better than painting in the kitchen LOL... mmm plus now I am right beside a heater.... will be nice for the winter months!

My b-day is in less than a week... going to be 27! Time flys! Not so bad really, maybe 27 will be a good year for me :-D Some things certainly seem to be coming together. I am planning to have just a few friends over and make a pile of Indian food, easy and fun. Sit and chit chat and maybe make some mulled wine to warm us up. Good to have friends to warm up with on cold days, good food and good talks make for fine memories!

Creativity and nostalga are flourishing along with the fall colors!

Well things seem to be looking up a bit LOL after two shit weeks I finally feel things are back in line. Back to painting and doing a good job of it too! Not to be boasting LOL I am so happy to see the amazing colors developing outside, it's really inspiring. I am really getting into the fall mode, Halloween and yummy hardy warm soups :-) It's such a great time of year.

I always feel so nostalgic with the cooling air. It makes me think of playing in leaves (on all fours LOL) with soft, pale yellow sweaters on. Just the smell of the leaves is so beautiful. It's really quite remarkable how the human mind works. I feel like I am back to being 4 years old with all the comfort in the world. Mom and dad took care of everything, all I had to do was discover the world. LOL ok I sound very melancholy but really it's great to have memories like that. Coming in from the cold, taking a warm bath, cuddling in PJs on the couch then having dad's hot Veggie soup. Boy, I really did have a great childhood. Maybe a little too pampered! I do look forward to giving the gift of comfort to my children that I was given as a child.


I am feeling very inspired, lots of painting. I am working from the photos I took of my friend in her spooky old barn. The new pastel is really working out well. I think they will make a great series. Sort of her creepy hide out, a little retreated space to think. Lots of character. I am also looking forward to painting a few new models this fall. I am lucky to have people so willing to pose for me!! Also hubby and I are discussing re-arranging our home so I can have a better space to paint in. It's rather exciting! The new place I MIGHT move my work to would have much better lighting and many shelves to arrange my supplies. Not that I have a problem with painting in the kitchen LOL I do think this new space would be a great place until the studio will be ready, which may take a few years to save up enough to construct properly. I guess we will see what happens.

Well I guess that's it for now. Just happy the air feels lighter now, not so much sad and not so much negativity. Off to finish my work for the day then have a warm bath! :-P

Writing on a rainy day.

It's so wet, cold and gray out... hard to be inspired today. I am trying to get inspired to work and so far it's a no go :-S I did look through some poetry I have written though. Funny how things just come to me, words just form sometimes to describe how I am feeling. When I look back on my writings(poetry) it always kind of surprises me. It takes me to that exact emotion that was present when I wrote. Part of me feels like sharing but then part of me is scared to see what people think... also if people even care to know how I feel. I suppose same goes for my artwork, do people really care to hang it and will they feel what I felt when I painted it.

Hmmph LOL can you tell I am in such a lovely mood?! Normally I am much more cheery and more inspired just having a few off days of self doubt. Ah well it will pass. Maybe I will just do another still life today, seems to keep my mind more neutral and just inquisitive about light, shape, color etc. I feel I really need to get the energies back to normal... something is off in the air these days.

On a lighter note my new porch is just amazing. It has a great view and has plenty of space to set table and chairs out for coffee outside... my own little cafe! The sun is trying to come through the rain. Hopefully my world will right itself. Off to sketch!

Emotions like the falling leaves

Wow it's been a crazy week... not seeming to calm down yet. Still being very creative with lots of new ideas. It's weird sometimes when life throws you for a loop emotionally. I am always surprised at how fast and frequently our lives take turns. Anyways needless to say it's been one of those weeks.... ups and big downs. It is really nice to see the fall coming in. Smells like fall, those maple leaves and their sweet earthy scent. Makes me feel like cooking.

Cooking is so amazing, I feel good when I play with beautiful veggies from the garden which we cultivated. Creating something that is good for myself seems to be like a meditation, it's creating for pleasure and for health.. not a bad deal at all!! It's so great to see the huge variety that we gardened, so much amazing food to try new recipes! Just to state it now my absolutely FAVORITE cookbook is : Passionate Vegetarian by Crescent Dragonwagon. Ok so her name is a bit comical BUT she REALLY knows her stuff! She is very experimental with food. To be honest every recipe my husband and I have tried from this book has been a BIG success. I have to say the one recipe that sold the book to me was Braised Red Cabbage with Onions and Apples in Red-wine and Cranberry Sauce! Yum YUM! Today I am trying a beet recipe with sweet and sour creamy beets!

http://www.passionatevegetarian.com

Check it out! This is really a MUST HAVE for people who are vegetarian or who like to cook Vagetarian.

Well anyways I am hoping this week will be better than last with less ups and downs. The karma has just been out of whack... maybe the magic of fall will balance things out. My big fuzzy cat sitting by my side seems to think better times are to come. Now back to my cooking!! :-D

Dazed and confused on a grey day :-S

So, I am back from the art show, recouping from that and a little cold :-P all the fun stuff ;-) The show went decently well and there was some people interested to see more. Lots of cards handed out... guess we will see what happens from here. People are full of talk :-P

The show really did get me thinking though, what it really is to be an artist and what people are looking for in art. Seems in our world there is less interest in nudes, really it's pretty sad. Not that I had any visions of crazy art collectors up in the Laurentians LOL!! I just think the average person is rather intimidated by "over-exposure" LOL The models are crazy to reveal themselves to the artist... let alone to the whole world. People have this idea that there are creeps out to look at nudes and there are some...but honestly who is going to put out cash to see a fine art nude rather than search the net for nude photos. I think it's all in location.. I think as far as some people are concerned the artist is just as much to blame asking people to model... and for choosing such a subject that people can't connect with.

On the other side of it, people at the show took interest in what I assumed would not be of much interest for random people. They seemed very interested in the paintings of my old family photographs as well as my portraits. Hmmmm think I have been told many times "people will not buy or be interested in portraits that are not of them or their family"... :-S Oh well guess again! So I guess I will just keep on with the subject I love and develop some really interesting portraits.

I really am happy I spent the time to make a good portfolio, it turned out to be invaluable. Everyone took a good look through. It was very easy for them to get a feel for my work with the variety of mediums and subjects, not to mention my bio there was able to get all my words out without me having to do the notorious "about me" talk over and over. I do see however that I need to make my bio bilingual, funny that I never thought about it before! Ah well one thing on the list of many to get done.

So I am thinking about why I make art... for myself and for others.. as an artist I have to think is my purpose to sell... Most people need to pay the bills with their work. I am quite fortunate that I am not under such pressure. In a way it have me mostly painting to please myself and not others. I do want others to see and enjoy my work... so I need to find a balance that will appeal to the public and still be interesting for me as well. Food for thought! I think I am already decently on the right path. Just need to keep the ideas flowing and keep working. Ha ha need to find more glass birds is what I need! :-P I saw some fantastic ones on E-bay.... oh what a frightening place.. so much junk and cool, MUST HAVE stuff LOL One man's(PERSON's) trash is another's treasure!!



Well before my fingers go numb and before your eyes fall out I will go. Time to snuggle in and finish my sketching. Tonight is a night for Barley, Lentil, sun dried tomato soup! mmmm I love the amazing nostalgic feeling of cold fall days! (note the photo of a cold and patient model I did body painting on a few years back!) xoxox

Canning Tomatoes, painting and waiting for the art show!

Wow so much happening these days, hard to keep up with my journal. Things are coming together though! Finally I am all set for the art show next weekend (8th and 9th). I only have a few last minute details to touch up. Not too bad for someone so disorganized! Maybe I am finally learning something?? LOL Be OVER prepared LOL Then you can kick back and take some much needed breathing time.

I am sitting here boiling up some tomatoes with hubby, it's such a nice fall activity. It feels very fall in the air, the leaves are starting to turn and the garden is coming to an end. I am really excited to get a party together for Samhain (Halloween). I guess any excuse to eat with friends... LOL I want to get lots of mulled wine and harvest foods for everyone to enjoy. I think we will have this party on cousin's porch and deck it out well! Could be lots of fun! Who says Halloween is only for kids ;-) I do feel my witch within stirring these days.

I was able to get some FABULOUS photos of a friend to paint from last weekend. Even with the rush I managed to get all my under painting for a pretty large painting all finished yesterday! I am very inspired by these photos... can you tell? We used an old barn of her families for the setting, rather interesting to have someone scared of heights crawling around up in the lofts... LOL *ahem ahem* not that I am that bad with heights ;-0 :-P :-S Anyways the photos turned out perfect just how I envisioned them. Spooky and contrasty!! I am planning to work on this painting again today at this rate I might even be able to bring it with me for the show next weekend!




I am off! Tomatoes need to be canned and the painting is calling to me. Back with news of how the show proceeded after the weekend!